I had this discussion with a friend about what is the best feeling in the world. To me, the best feeling is the feeling you get when you are working on something you know to be (relatively)big, even if others don’t quite understand it… yet. I’m sure there are many answers to the question, so if you are willing to share yours – I’m interested!
Talking about something that makes us happy is quite pleasant, so we had to counter-balance this good feeling in our hearts by asking the opposite: what is the worst feeling in the world?
It’s quite a difficult question, so I had to think about it before giving my answer. After about 1 minute I was done thinking and began giving my answer in full. Here are my thoughts.
Process of Elimination
The worst feeling in the world is not something we think about very often. So, I approached this question with the process of elimination.
I first discounted the obvious bad answer: anger. Being angry is not a bad feeling at all. I’d argue it’s very good if you’re angry and frustrated. Personally I get the most amount of work done when I’m boiling from something that happened previously. The feeling of anger is such a good motivator for us to do something, that it just can’t be the worst of ‘bad’ feelings.
Second I took away the feeling of sadness. “What? How can you discount sadness?” You might be asking, but let me explain. To me, when I feel sad, it’s the result of something that I feel I can learn from. Being sad is also perfectly okay, and in my opinion, we should let ourselves feel sad more often. We often hide our true feelings, and being down in the dumps is a good way to clear one’s heart. After you are done being sad, you will very soon feel really, really good. I say this even to the people who are suffering from depression, as I used to struggle with it myself. There is hope at the end of the tunnel, as well as a great lesson to be learnt.
Third, and last feeling I discounted before finding the right answer was jealousy. Now, this is a something I can’t defend really, as it is a rather pointless feeling to have. If you want something someone else has, then you aren’t living the life you want to live. Create goals and aspirations for yourself, and you won’t need to feel jealous of others so much. One good thing about jealousy, at least, is that it might motivate one to do something, but that usually isn’t the case. It is a waste of your time. Good things will come to you if you let them.
I could have gone on with my analysis, but I was in middle of a conversation, and I had just taken a minute to think about something, so I had to come up with an answer. Luckily, what came up next was the answer I was looking for.
The Worst Feeling In The World
The worst feeling in the world, without a doubt, is the feeling of disappointment. There is no worse feeling, because you get nothing from it. You often don’t even feel angry or sad because of it. Disappointment is in its own category of bad feelings to have.
The thing about feeling disappointed is that it’s purely negative feeling, and it can’t really be fixed. Once someone has disappointed you, or you feel that you have disappointed someone else, or perhaps even yourself – there really is no going back. Time will, of course, heal all wounds, but in the case of disappointment, the wounds are deep, and may never heal.
I didn’t want to just stop there. I also wanted to figure out how to start fixing this feeling for myself and others, because I really think it is the worst feeling.
How To Not Feel The Worst Feeling In The World
To fix this problem for ourselves, we first we need to understand where disappointment comes from. I’ve actually already pinpointed exactly why we feel disappointed, so you don’t have to. The feeling of disappointment comes from expectation. Unrealistic expectation to be precise.
However, what you might not have thought about it, but all expectations are unrealistic. Nothing really happens the way you think it will. Think about the last time you tried to cook something that took some effort from your part. How did it turn out? Not as expected, big surprise! –
…unless you expected failure and got what you wanted *thinking*…
We can’t control or foresee what happens in the future. We can’t really control other people or how they think. The only person whose thoughts we have full control over is ourselves. That is the key to controlling your own expectations.
We understand expectations never quite match reality, so what we should then do to avoid feeling the worst feeling in the world, is to completely eliminate expectation, if possible, but I think more realistic way to think is to simply lower your expectations. Allow yourself and others to fail, and don’t get so fussed over it.
I’m not saying you shouldn’t still be critical of yourself, or others for that matter; just don’t aim for perfection each and every time.
Remember this; it’s okay to fail, because it gives us an opportunity to learn – because ultimately we only learn from failure.
Also, stop worrying about what other people think. Firstly, you can’t know what they are thinking (you can’t read their mind), and second, it shouldn’t matter in the first place what they think about you.
There is a danger to this kind of thinking, though, and that is you might end up feeling pessimistic, which is another bad feeling to have. Cynicism and pessimism are connected, and should be avoided at all costs. Try not to view the world through the eyes of a cynic, but rather from the point of view of an optimist. This is perhaps easier said than done, but it is worth it if you manage to do it (and you can do it!).
Thank You For Reading
That is it, thank you for reading. This was my first essay I decided to actually publish on my blog. Did you enjoy it, or find it useful? Let me hear your thoughts that I have no control over.
I hope you will have a nice day, and rest of the week.
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