I recently read the book How to Win Friends and Influence People by Dale Carnegie.
You can buy the book here: How to Win Friends and Influence People
I have always struggled with making, and especially keeping, friends. I don’t really know why, because I don’t see myself as someone who couldn’t have friends. Then again, I guess nobody would willingly admit that they are no good as a friend to anyone.
It’s already difficult enough to criticize yourself for your own mistakes, at least the ones that you notice yourself doing, but it’s nearly impossible to tell why, when what you are doing, and it’s seemingly working, is actually not providing the results it should.
I think of myself as a good speaker. I’m confident, and because I’ve spent quite a bit of time reading up on the going-on’s in the world, I also consider myself as someone who is able to talk just about any given topic, at least on a surface level. So, yes, I think people who do end up talking with me come out of the experience having learned something new, or that has been my approach to conversation thus far.
This, however, is not the best way to make friends, as I learned through reading the book I’m talking about today.
When I begun reading this book (or listening, since it was an audiobook), I was immediately starting to see why I might not have that many friends. I’m easy to criticize others, because I’m very hard on myself. I expect too much from people around me. I learned from this book that criticizing someone doesn’t usually work as a tool to encourage people to do better, in fact, it may discourage people from trying at all. You are better off giving people compliments when they deserve it, and reserve your criticism to yourself only, or at least this should be the case if you want to make friends. It makes sense, but I just hadn’t thought about it before reading this book.
The book continued giving me golden nuggets of information, each making me think of how would I have acted in any of the given scenarios presented in the book, and often coming out of it realizing I could do better when it comes to making friends and influencing people.
I learned a lot from this book, it really opened my eyes and showed me how I could do better, and I will certainly try my best to follow the guidelines given in this book in the future.
You can find all the principles presented in this book online, but I highly recommend reading the book because of the stories contained within. It’s was a really good experience and I recommend for everyone to read this book at utmost urgency. It will change your life for the better.
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